LONDON

Grrrrooowwlllll!!! It's been said before: "Ryan, Like a Lion." indeed, but probably not a good look, unless you're mike myers in a velvet suit. Got a few laughs from onlookers though...

Last weekend we decided to hire a car and take a drive down to London to visit Daryl and Lorna, friends of ours that have just had a baby, and to explore a little. Unfortunately it was a bit of a fleeting visit. For all of you in London that we didn't see, we're here for a while and we promise to come and see you at some point.

We were impressed by London, it had a nice feel to it. A buzzing and colourful wee (or not so wee) place. We decided not to take the car into central London. Even with the GPS i think that's asking to get lost and run into trouble. So we left the car at Daryl and Lorna's and took the train into central town. Daryl had given us an idea of where places were and walking distances.

So we went to visit the queen's pad... Bit rough if you ask me, clearly it's a rough area of town as there are police type dudes around there with machine guns and stuff... Dunno why she doesn't move to a nicer area really... Hmmm. Buckingham palace was far from impressive really... i liked the louvre much better as far as cool looking palatial buildings go... perhaps it's nice inside?

The statue/fountain thing of Queen Victoria was more interesting than the palace to be honest. One side has the very regal Queeny, and man you would not want to meet her in a dark alley way - bit of a scowl on her face and not too pretty if you want my opinion, but the opposite side of the monument shows her in a very different light - an almost winsome look on her face, her royal breast out (for all the world to see) with a baby attached to it, and another child or two hanging off her. I guess two very different sides of the same woman - pretty obvious which i'd rather meet. Not because she had her breast sitting out in the open mind you...

The brits are clearly quite an aristocratic people - everywhere you look they've elevated people and set them in bronze. Quite endearing in one sense and grotesque in another. I guess it gives you something to aim for if you're a pleb like me. If you dig that kind of life?!

The other thing that i guess struck me about the monarchy was the terrific burden it must be to be born into such a family. I guess i'd rather have it the american way - if you want the top job you can work your way up to it, as opposed to the british being born into it - i can imagine it'd be a bit stifling. I for one generally start to squirm when it comes to things that one 'should' do. I guess I consider it worthwhile, even commendable to challenge the 'should do's' in life. Anyhow, it's likely my view of the culture of the monarchy is seriously limited. But those are my observations anyway.

So walking then - from the Millennium Eye to Big Ben to Westminster Abbey, through St James park to Buckingham Palace. Via Pall Mall to Regent St (fortunately i did not go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200) to Picadilly Circus... to Leicester Square and on to Convent Gardens (where we missed the street performers, twice!) and then kept going all the way to St Pauls Cathedral (which is huge - inside and out - much bigger than both the notre dame and the sacre coeur), and then to the Tower of London, The tower bridge and then back again towards the milennium eye.

We spent a couple of hours at the Tower of London which was fascinating. Read an interesting thing on torture. Apparrently only the worst of criminals were tortured at the tower and only between 1600 and 1700ish. The crimes? well apart from old guy fawkes who was a bit of a twat from all accounts, the rest of them were all Catholic priests!! Sheesh the price of a bit of theology eh? Which made me think it would be kinda cool to sit down and discuss theology with the queen - would probably have some interesting opinions i bet on God, and the nature of what it means to be christian... heady! Can't say for sure that i'd take torture to protect my Catholic faith against Anglicanism... doesn't strike me there's a heaven VS hell difference there... though it's obviously a bit interesting that either party would torture really!
All i can say is, i'm glad its not the year 1600...

Mez was all smiles with a real live flash-suited dude (can't recall the name for them sorry). He was happy that the only things that now shoot at him are cameras, after a clean army service career of over 25 years... apparently he's one of only 35 and competition for places is tough which either makes him a really nice guy, or a bloody good liar - you be the judge!!!

The armoury was coolish too though you can't really imagine the gore that would have been the reality of those implements, and as for wearing all that armour... i dare say my somewhat light frame would struggle. Though these chicken legs have done me good thus far. Maybe they could handle a bit of chain mail? I'm sure they could stand the weight of the title... 'sir mo of the round table?!'

Crown Jewels, what can we say there? Maid Maryanne stated it well "Gosh she could probably sell these and pay off the third world's debt..." Having some cool things is I guess fair enough. God knows I have enough 'toys'. But where do you draw the line? Probably when it goes on display in a massive vault and you have to employ guards for your stuff 24/7 might be a good place to start. Point taken mez, point taken.

Overall? 8/10 - exciting, lots happening, cool architecture, lots of gardens, lots of squirrels, multi-cultural, lost points for being grey, glum looks on the faces of lots of locals, and the ostentatiousness of the crown jewels.

I think i should get the other two points at least for using two fabulous big words - ostentatious and aristocratic! or maybe the english get the points for inventing such wonderful language to describe their culture : - ) Enough of being a critic though - fabulous place, loved it, will be back.

OOOOO i almost forgot, man kiwi's think they have congestion issues... as we left London there was a traffic jam going back into London on the M1 - I kid you not about 30-40 miles long - three lanes wide!!! We must have passed more than the population of NZ on that motorway - now that's a traffic jam - poor sods, glad we were doing 80 in the opposite direction. Ok maybe it was 82. Ok it was 85, but that's all, I promise. later, mo